Wednesday, June 17, 2009

BUG WARS: The Search for Allies

Bugs. They're mean, green, and largely unclean. What good are they anyway?
ANSWER: No Good
Bugs bug the crap out of me. They have declared war on the human race, and I say we respond to their devilish actions. Buzzing, biting and sucking the blood of those I hold dear. Enough is enough. Who's with me!?
In my quest to rid the world of the foul hell beasts we call "insects" I will need as much help as I can get. I've got the anteaters and the frogs on my side already. Unfortunately, their tongues are only a small step along the trail to victory.

I've paid off a few of the enemy to viciously attack their own. I gave the ladybugs double their lands in my back yard. The praying mantis' turned for much less.

One creature did show a great deal of potential for this epic war. The Smelly Pile, or who I call the Poop Monster, is a distant relative of the venus fly trap. It looks like a blob of poo poo and smells like one too.The smell attracts flies who can not resist the smell of fresh poop.
When the flies are over head, the poop monster shoots short range lightning bolts and fries their little wings off. The plumit into the warm steemy goo that is the poop monster where they will be slowly digested and used to attract more flies.

The bug war is on.

2 comments:

The Shoppe Keeper said...

If you promise to destroy all mosquitoes, I will join this fight.

Theresa said...

I feel like your the "evil humans" in the Tough to Be a Bug Show in AK. But I don't like them either. KILL THEM!