Monday, August 31, 2009

Is That Healthy: Eating Bouillon Cubes

I really like gravy, and I enjoy more salt then the average human. Thus I like bouillon cubes. It's that handy dandy snack that says "I'm a successful young man who has not time to carry around a bowl full of gravy." One handy dandy cube could last me an hour of pure meaty delight. All it takes is a little nibble, and my mouth explodes into a flavorful celebration complete with mountains of gravy and thousands of dancing leprechauns!
(they're magical and can live in my mouth.)

As wonderful as the bouillon cube and it's close relative, the ramen flavor packet are, sometimes I worry. Is it right that I spend so much time in this trance like state of bouillon bliss? It's a tough call to make. I feel that this behavior I have developed is ok, and I can quit any time. Others have a theory this stuff is just unbleached cocaine. That's got to be a lie. Cocain doesn't come in cubes or little foil pouches. Come on people.

Chicken or beef? That is the question.

Tested on Animals

Hot Shot Roach and Ant Killer. "Kills on Contact!"So this stuff kills insects, but how about mammals? I think I'll do some testing of my own, and then market this product as "Bat-B-Dead" with a 300% price increase.

How come PETA doesn't care about the feelings of insects?

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Million Dollar Ideas: Reusable Ice Cubes

There are several things wrong with ice cubes. I can fix all of those problems, and make them the ultimate drink cooler downer. In fact, this may be a two million dollar idea!

The biggest problem is the creation of the ice cubes. Right now, you have 3 options:
  1. Buy ice at a store
  2. Use an ice machine in your freezer
  3. Fill and freeze ice trays
  4. Live in an igloo friendly climate (not an option for most of us)
The problem with buying ice at a store is quite simply the amount of effort. It costs money, and can melt on the trip back, but the actual trip is what deters most potential ice buyers. If it's hot outside, and you want ice inside, you'd have to drive to the store (in the heat), buy the ice, and then drive back (in the heat) and that's just plain silly.

Ice makers are great, but expensive. If you've got one, then you probably already have a million dollars of something of equal or greater value. I hate you. If you give me your ice maker, maybe we can be friends. Maybe...

And lastly, ice trays. 87% of Americans use ice trays to provide them with fresh, clean, three dimensional chunks of ice. Less then 3% of those people enjoy filling up those trays (usually seen wearing hockey helmets). While this may not compare with taking a trip to a store to get ice, it's still extra effort.
  • spill the water
  • fill the trays up too high
  • under fill the trays
  • knock them over in the freezer
  • try to use them before the water is fully frozen
  • let anyone fill the trays with poison

Who wants to deal with a"Don't" list this large? I sure don't. I bet you don't either. So don't look any farther! The solution lies with reusable ice cubes. A solid outer shell and a quick freezing inside.

With this new invention, you'll never have to fill or spill ice trays again! Just throw them in the freezer and take them out when you need something coldified.

Cold soda that isn't watered down by ice? Stop the presses!