10 Step Bacon Toast Egg

Step 1: Prepare bacon, bread, and oven

 Make sure you eat lots of bacon, and reuse the pan for cooking more bacon.

Something something more flavor...

 Find bread. Rip into cupcake sized slices. This is half a hotdog bun, ripped in thirds. Fractions.

Preheat to 400 degrees. Optimum bacon bakin' temperature.

Step 2: Put bacon in oven for 5 minutes

 Don't cry, you'll take it out soon.

 Before.

 After. mmm.

Resist eating bacon at this step. If you have trouble with this, I suggest cooking a few extra slices.

Step 3: Butter, salt, and wrap bacon

 Add one thin slice of butter and some salt to the top of the bread.

 Wrap bacon.

 Put back in oven for 2 minutes

 Almost done. Don't they look tasty?

Step 4: Add egg

Add everything but the shell. I'll make another post later on "if you accidentally put the shell in too." 

Step 5: Bake for 5-15 minutes

 Put the pan in the oven. Do it now!

 After five minutes, the whites should be start becoming solid.

 After ten minutes, you'd probably have a sunny side up egg.

 At fifteen minutes, you're egg should be fully cooked. Take out of the oven, and turn the oven off, Caroline.

Step 6-7: Drool a little bit

Step 8: Put them on a plate

 Add pepper. Did you see I rhymed?

Step 9: Eat foods

Step 10: Make little people happy

 Don't let them eat too much.

And beware. They may smile at you.

Already There

I couldn't get my car out of the driveway this morning. Every time I'd hit the gas my telepathic on board GPS would say I was already at my destination.




No, it's not too geeky. Get your own blog.

Electronics Apocalypse: Humidity 0%

Not even those static free bags will save you! Start collecting guns and ammo. and chapstick.

Does this make me a bad person?

I thought about it, but this did NOT end up replacing my boss's keyboard.

All your wall street are belong to US

Am I really the only one on the internet that caught this? A gamer outside? In the sunlight? It has to be fake.

Google image search


All your _______ are belong to us

Math is EVERYWHERE

Who says they never use math?

I use it all the time, and my drugs stay super fresh!



On a lighter note, "feathers."

Life Lesson from Cookie Dough

To my son:

Just adding please doesn't mean you'll get your way.

Love,

Dad

IN YOUR FACE DOUGHBOY! NOM NOM NOM! mmm mmmmmmm.

(I'm talking to the Pillsbury guy, not my kid.)

What gets me through my day

5th Grade School Bus Chatter

So, in the middle of giving a canned final exam on XP this afternoon, I noticed this gem of an answer:

The first thing that came to mind was an insult exchange heard back in elementary school.

"Yo momma wears combat boots!"

"Oh yeah? Yo momma's like a machine gun. She shoots out stuff."

And before you all start asking what the correct answer is I'll break it down for you:

6345789

  7 characters using only numbers = 10000000 combinations

  Not enough.

PaSsWoRd

  8 characters using lower and uppercase letters = 53459728531456 combinations.

  Common dictionary word.

8hG

  3 characters using lower and uppercase letters AND numbers = 238328 combinations.

  Too few characters.

Your mother wears size 12 Army Boots!?!

  39 characters using lower and uppercase letters, numbers, AND special characters =

  1.3527595427905617188002050084675e+77 OR a little more than 132 Quattuorvigintillion.

  This is the correct answer. (Yes, Windows XP allows the space character in passwords.)

"You're letting the air conditioning out!"

You should close the door. Not necessarily to keep the AC in (we don't have any) but to keep other thinks out. Bugs are the main concern for most people. At night, the air gets really humid, and the moths and other assorted unwanted flying creatures will enter your home and make you unhappy. I failed to follow this simple door closing rule last night.

Sooooo, my story begins well after my overly pregnant wife has gone to bed. I go downstairs to put the bucket seats back in the van. I also take out the car seats and install them.

Good husband? Yes.
Could I be better? Yes again.
But how? Well, why don't we repack all the hospital/baby gear back in the van! (we = me and "my precious")

That's when I met this thing:

At first, when it scurried from behind a bag I picked up, I thought it was a mouse. Upon closer inspection, it was a possum. I tried to get it to run out the door that was five feet across the room, but it decided to run to the laundry room instead. I could just close the door and let it hang out all night in there, but I'd hate my next child to be born in my kitchen when it jumps out at my wife in the morning. So, I built a guided path to the door and prepared to enter the laundry room.

My armor of choice against this rather small rodent was a laundry basket. I've seen much larger possums, and they were mean and scary looking with the teeth and the hissing and what not. I was not to be fooled by the general "cuteness" of this foul creature.

 I spotted him a few times by moving things around.

It didn't have many places to hide, and after not seeing it for a while, and checking everywhere, I assumed it escaped. He's a sneaky little bugger, hence how he got inside in the first place. But the story does not end there. Have a look:

Right out of a horror film.

The van started up just great and the possum was gone. We all lived happily ever after.

Dale Hunter Disagrees

Chalk boards are awesome

Let me sum up your comments for you:

"Poor girls!"

Silhouettes can be Deceiving

"Ok wise guy, what's with the 'ENTER' and 'EXIT'"

*turns on light*

 "oh."

Angry Cars

Are you intimidated?

The Hunger Games: archery in the future?

This movie looks soooo awesome, but...

the opposite of what I just said.

I'm no archery expert, but from one of the main promotional pictures, something looks off, and I have a few guesses at why:

• This character is learning the sport of archery, and this photo was taken when she started.
• This is practice and she's simulating a firing solution by pointing her finger at the target. (circle)
• In the future, when this film takes place, the economic meltdown of north america has modified the laws of physics, and this is now the proper draw of a bow (are the two lines equal length?)

And the there's a possibility that the film ran over budget and could not ___________________________.

A) hire an archery instructor
B) pay for internet access to google "how to shoot a bow"
C) afford gasoline or a ride in a rickshaw to the local library to look at a picture book on archery

Now, the movie might not turn out to be that bad. I might also find $20 on the sidewalk today, but both have rather slim chances of becoming reality.

I'm still crossing my fingers on the $20 one...