Sunday, February 19, 2012

One Dead, Suspect Missing

After a tragic event, the cast of Disney's "Winnie the Pooh" are left in a state of mourning and disbelief.

In the late hours of Friday night, neighbors reported a domestic dispute is an apartment complex in Harrisonburg, VA. Police arrived on the scene minutes later, only to find the body of a decapitated tiger. The tiger's identity has not been confirmed, but there has been great speculation that the deceased is none other than the lovable, bouncy-trouncey, fun fun fun fun, Tigger. The cast is in shock.

"I was soundly asleep in my bed dreaming of my garden when I heard a loud crash." said Rabbit. "I knew there was going to be trouble when he used the last of Pooh's honey as hair gel." "Sometimes Tigger was just plain reckless."

Witnesses put the show's star, Pooh, at the place of the crime. "He came up the stairs. Some stuff happened. That's all I know, but you probably already knew..." said Eeyore.

Both Kanga and Roo had seen Pooh just hours before the incident muttering to himself and frantically looking for something. Roo recalls the suspect as having a "rummbly in his tummbly" and "crazy eyes." 

The suspect was last seen fleeing the seen right after the altercation. Owl caught a glimps of Pooh hijacking Piglet and making a "wobbly and improbably quick escape" on his friend's shoulders.

The police are on the lookout for the crazed and suspected killer bear. 


yeoldesandwichshoppeva said...

New eyewitness accounts state that the actual culprit may have been an almost 2 year old boy with a slight obsession for his Aunt's Winnie the Pooh decor. Superglue may be used to piece the poor tiger victim back together.

Theresa said...

The real end of the story is that Christopher Robin's close fried, Aunt Treesa, came and fixed Tigger right up. No superglue involved.

Glad to see you're getting use of my apratment when I'm not there.

Theresa said...

Now that he's fixed, Tigger has joined the search party for the suspect. I told him the culprit is likely hiding in my toilet.