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Poem 1

When you're bored at summer camp, what else are you supposed to do them write poetry?

In the end, at the gate
Realize your waited fate
For deep inside I've sealed your doom
In the confines of a dusty room.
Body perish, soul does not
And all thy flesh shall slowly rot
And on your body, warm and hot
Shall I feast
For I am the beast.

Who says poems don't need to rhyme? Poems that don't rhyme stink.
This post is boring without a picture, so if someone has a fitting image (sunshine, rainbows, lolly pops, etc.) send it/them to me and I'll put it/them up.

Hiccups Stink

The hiccups are awful. I think that I should get a temporary handicapped sticker when I have the hiccups. I doubt that would cure me, or even make me feel a little better, but i would warn others to stay away, especially if I'm holding hot or sharp objects. Plus, I'd be able to park closer to stuff!

Million Dollar Ideas: Water Bed Pants

"Water bed pants. Here's how to order..." Without any explanation, they already have you sold. Everyone likes water beds, and everyone wears pants (you don't have to like them) so why not put them together!? They go together like peanut butter and jelly, a bow and arrow, and pepperoni on your tombstone. My only question is, why did no one think of this before?

That's right folks. They haven't been invented, because I'm a genius and the people who invent stuff are lesser geniuses. But enough about my awesomeness, and back to the product.

Water bed pants are like regular pants, but better! They have an outer layer the fills up with water, and an inner layer that keeps you dry. Every time you sit down, it's like you're sitting on a water bed! Hard chair = water bed. Rock = water bed. You can't loose! And that's not all.

Home made, PORTABLE aquarium!
(stick to gold fish and small turtles)

Life Preserver! Just fill them with air instead of water! It's that easy!

The possibilities are endless. I've got a few more that are fresh in my mind which do not have pictures.

• The jello option
• Helium legs
• Shaved ice (requires a large freezer)
  
• Water bed knee pads

Stop wearing boring pants, stop wearing a boring life.

Halloween, Santa Style

So how come nobody ever dresses up like Santa for Halloween? Don't little kids think he's scary? Why, who knows. Maybe they think he steals little boys and girls and makes them build toys in the north pole for food. That would be horrible. I can think of a few other reasons...


I think it would also give Santas some practice handing out candy. Think about this one people. The stores put out Christmas trees in October, so this would totally work. Trust me. I'm a professional.